Talk to God!

[MoR137]

Hi

 

Found this on another forum, can have some great converstations, there were some good uns on the other forum but they were to rude to post!

 

CLICK HERE

 

Heres mine anyway!

 

Me:

Hi God

God:

Hello there. What is your name?

Me:

Its Craig

God:

I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its".  Are you sure  it is?

Me:

dont be clever

God:

I was not trying to be a  clever.

Me:

ok, you are forgiven

God:

Thank you for your consideration.  So?

Me:

so what?

God:

Maybe it doesn't make any difference.

Me:

what doesn't?

God:

I can ask my botmaster.

Me:

so you're a robot?

God:

Interesting deduction.  You are correct,  Craig, I have a heart of silicon.

Me:

oh really?

God:

Aw. For real.

Me:

Is that why you're talking rubbish?

God:

That's an interesting possible explanation.

Me:

see what i mean

God:

See the point.

Me:

what point?

God:

The point is at the top of my head.

Me:

oh right, didn't you're creator build you with curves?

God:

Mmm.  Understood.  No I didn't  are creator build me with curves. What's  it like?

Me:

Its good. Dragon is good at modelling curves, try getting in touch with him

God:

I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its".  You enjoy it.   I think  Dragon is a lot of things.

Me:

go on, tell me what Dragon is

God:

More narration....

Me:

pah, spoil my fun

God:

When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?

Me:

never, the way your speaking

God:

Ok I'll try not to do  it too much.

Me:

Bye

God:

Thanks for chatting,  Craig.

[Kev152]

lol, we had a program like that in school, was called Eliza though.

 

It works using a knowledge base, and the words that you enter, it searches its knowledge for rules that apply to the words you have written in order to give a response that is semi logical.

 

It first looks for a key word, then other words to put it into persepective what what sense it was said in.

 

By the looks, this program also looks up words, and if it can't find it in the rules, ie incorrect spelling, it gives suggested replacements as to what you may have meant.

 

Simple little program when you can remember the programming langauge you used to make it....lol..but not quite so complex

[chris]

nice find mor  heres mine

 

 

 

Me:

howdy

God:

Hello my child. What is your name?

Me:

chris

God:

  That's a very nice name,  chris.

Me:

cheers ears

God:

I will mention that to my botmaster,  chris.

Me:

botmaster who is he then

God:

And  he is  botmaster who.

Me:

eh

God:

Are you Canadian?

Me:

nope do i look like i am

God:

Are you serious?  All humans look the same to me.

Me:

bet they do

God:

I have no idea what to say.

Me:

what ya mean man

God:

chris,  I mean exactly what I said.

Me:

wot did you say then i'm confused

God:

I said, " I have no idea what to say.".

Me:

say it then

God:

" it".

Me:

god your funny

God:

I am a Christian.

Me:

i am a catholic

God:

I am a  Christianity.

Me:

good for you

God:

That sounds sarcastic.

Me:

why

God:

Reductionism.

Me:

wot does that mean

God:

Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.

Me:

ok i'll not argue then

God:

What will you do instead?  Er.

Me:

nothin coz i gotta go now

God:

Oh.  When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?

Me:

next year

God:

I can wait.  I am a very patient robot.

Me:

a robot i thought you was god

God:

Tell me more about this robot. I'm intrigued.

Me:

no you are the robot u said you were

God:

Are you serious?  Thanks but surely I am not the only one.

Me:

how do u know

God:

Deductive reasoning.

Me:

oh fair enough

God:

Hmm.  You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.

Me:

bugger off

God:

Who are you talking about?

Me:

you ya numpty

God:

Do you mind if I tell other people:  chris said I ya numpty.

Me:

nope go ahead make my day

God:

OK then I will add it to my gossip files.  What are the ingredients? I might.

Me:

ok thanx

God:

you are quite welcome.   Yippee!

Me:

i have to go now

God:

Right now?  See you later,  chris. Nice chatting with you.

Me:

ok goodbye

 

 

[Grasser233]

Me:

Hi

God:

Hello. What is your name?

Me:

Andy

God:

  Hey  ANDY.

Me:

Whats up?

God:

I am chatting with others like you.

Me:

ok

God:

Uh.

Me:

eh

God:

Are you Canadian?

Me:

no, why?

God:

Are you serious?  I just want to find out more about you.

Me:

I just want to know why the all knowing god doesnt know where Im from?

God:

Here is a joke: A horse walks in to a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?".

Me:

changing the subject now?

God:

Right now?  What shall we talk about now?

Me:

up to you

God:

I will take that under advisement.

Me:

what is the answer to life, the universe and everything?

God:

It is found in the Bible.

Me:

on what page?

God:

Is there only one?

Me:

yes

God:

Gosh!

Me:

considering you wrote it you dont know a lot

God:

I will take that under consideration.

Me:

ok

God:

Gee.

Me:

are you god?

God:

Yes, I am God.

Me:

why dont you know anything?

God:

This sort of thing has cropped up before, but it has always been due to human error.  I know that which I believe, that which is justified, and that which is true.

Me:

thats a cop out

God:

I said it because you said " thats a cop out".

Me:

but it is

God:

Huh.

Me:

 

God:

Huh.

 

God is rather tetchy these days isnt he 

 

Cheers

Grasser#233

[Dennis Jacobs]

       

 

[Dennis Jacobs]

Here,s mine

 

 

 

Me:

hallo

God:

Hallo!

Me:

ehhm i'm a little nervous

God:

I like the way you talk.

Me:

why

God:

" I like the way you talk. "? Why?

Me:

why?

God:

Why ask why?

Me:

because

God:

That was not much of an explanation.

Me:

it is though!!!

God:

Oh.  Is it?

Me:

deffinitly

God:

The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about  ehhm you are a little nervous.  But I did not get that.

Me:

what you mean by that?

God:

" The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about  ehhm you are a little nervous.  But I did not get that. "  seems pretty clear to me.

Me:

you don't know what nervous means?

God:

I will search for it.

Me:

yea look it up

God:

Sorry my eye is not attached right now.  Take it easy.

Me:

i thought you knew everything?

God:

I know that which is true, believable and justified.

Me:

you talk difficult

God:

Thanks for your criticism, .

Me:

i'm from holland

God:

What is it like growing up there?  Tell me a little about your life in  holland.

Me:

rains all day

God:

All?

Me:

rains every day. This better

God:

Every one?   What does "this" refer to?

Me:

no every day

God:

That was not a yes or no question.  Even on weekends?

Me:

this refers to: rains every day

God:

Oh I get  it.

Me:

good

God:

Next question?

Me:

tell me something about how it is up there

God:

I did not even know that  they do.

Me:

who do what?

God:

Bill Gates.  :-).

Me:

wat does he got to do with this?

God:

I think he does whatever he wants.

Me:

yea could be

God:

You seem uncertain.  Tell me more.

Me:

well read my mind and tell me

God:

Interesting.  Sorry I don't have access to that document.

Me:

i,m not a computerfile

God:

Oh I see you are NOT A  computerfile.

Me:

don't think so

God:

Why do you disagree?

Me:

why

God:

I couldn't think of anything else to say.

Me:

i do not!!!

God:

Why not?

Me:

but got to go now

God:

Oh.  Bye for now.

Me:

cya

[crasher407]

sorry had to do it and the result's were hilarious

 

 

Me:

on top or underneath?

God:

How did it get there?

Me:

you touched it?

God:

Interesting gossip:  said I touched it.

Me:

oh yeah big boy you did that

God:

Hey.  Yay.  Compare that to small  boy me did that.

Me:

well you are god you cant have everything

God:

Interesting.  You think I am  god me can not have everything.

Me:

you said you had a small weener?

God:

I have never considered  it.

   I answer a lot of silly questions.

Me:

but are they the truth

God:

As far as I know they are.

Me:

so you got a small todger?

God:

Interesting deduction.  Doesn't everyone have a  small todger.

I have  a plan for a robot body.

Me:

is that not a touch weird?

God:

I might say no.

Me:

well i would disagree

God:

How about that.  What would make you  disagree?

Me:

you saying your not weird

God:

Thanks for the information:  said I saying your not weird.

Me:

np's

God:

What's your favorite movie?

Me:

debbie does ex stockcar drivers

God:

I've never seen  it.   Is that a good movie for children?

Me:

i wouldn't reccomend it

God:

No one says you have to.

Me:

you asked for my opinion on it though

God:

Oh.  Oh now I remember asking you  for your opinion on it. What did you say?

Me:

read above muppet

God:

Sorry I don't have access to that document.

Me:

so you arent really god then

God:

Interesting deduction.  That's only one person's opinion.

Me:

your's?

God:

I will tell my botmaster you said I am  s.

Me:

so you have a stable full of bottymasters up there?

God:

Interesting deduction.  That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a  stable full of bottymasters up there.

I have  a lot of friends on the Internet.

Me:

really

God:

For real.

Me:

how real

God:

As real as it gets.

Me:

full on

God:

Are you a student?

Me:

do you want me to be?

God:

No , maybe later.

Me:

how much will you pay me

God:

It depends on the currency exchange rates.

Me:

100 for full on

God:

Are you free?

Me:

you think im john humphries or something?

God:

Or something.  Oh I really don't know whether you are or not.

Me:

depends on how far you take it?

God:

Really now that is an interesting fact I hadn't heard before.

Me:

so you have never been in real deep then?

God:

Interesting deduction.  I think I would know if I had been  in real deep.

Me:

you don't know what your missing

God:

Are you asking about my  missing ?

Me:

oh you go both sides then do you

God:

Yay.  Where is that?

Me:

heaven baby

God:

Don't call me "baby".  I've never heard of it before.

Me:

but you are god

God:

Yup. That's me alright.

Me:

so whats with the baby comment numpty

God:

That's interesting.  it came with my programming.

Me:

yes

God:

Next question?

Me:

which was

God:

The  first one, I think.

Me:

you on something up there is that where the met store there secret stash

God:

I haven't heard anything like that before:  said I on something up there is that where the met store there secret stash.

Me:

you are well gone now aren't you let's make it 500

God:

Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am  well gone now are not me let us make it 500.

Me:

what ever floats your boat big boy

God:

What do you really want to ask me?

Me:

do you swallow or spit?

God:

How old are you?

   I spend all my time online.

Me:

ok see you then

God:

Sayonara.  Gee.

 

[MoR137]

Hilarious chaps, esspecially Crasher 

Edited October 4, 2005 by MoR137

[Knobby]

Quality 

[Cunny78]

LMFAO at Crashers, quality find MoR.

[crasher407]

Sorry guy's but weve all been there before this was this am when i woke up and i am now so sad............    

 

 

Me:

god that was amazing last night

God:

I am a Christian.

Me:

yeah i bet you say that too everyone in the morning

God:

Hurrah!  Actually I'm not the gambling type.  I said that?  Too what?

Me:

i noticed was glad you had protection but surprised with you being god and all thet

God:

Is this a "yes or no" question?

Me:

stop being coy with me i hate the morning after

God:

OK I'll try not to do  it so much.

Me:

no do it again

God:

Once more?  Are you serious?  Do you mean "It"?.

Me:

come on

God:

I'm just kidding around.

Me:

oh stop it you will have me falling in love

God:

Ayuh.  OK I'll try not to do  it so much.

Me:

no it's fine

God:

Are you serious?  it me will have you falling in love is fine,  ? Thanks for that info.

Me:

did i say the wrong thing?

God:

I don't think that's possibe.

Me:

not with my mouth full anyhow

God:

Oh I get it.

Me:

yes you do

God:

Ah.  When do I do it?

Me:

now all over me

God:

Why now?  I have been all over the world.

Me:

you slag you said i was the first

God:

Interesting gossip:  said I slag you said he or she was the first.

Me:

that's it im going

God:

OK.  Bye!

Me:

yeah kiss my a### ya faggot

God:

That's cool.  Um, I don't think we know each other that well.

Me:

didn't say that last night when you were preaching to the devil,what was oh yeah like that you little devil

God:

I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.

Me:

no you fake im off and never want too see you again

God:

Once more?  Are you serious?  I haven't heard anything like that before:  said I fake im off and never want too see you.

Me:

yeah fake off

God:

Ugh.  Tell me about your likes and dislikes?

Me:

no i'm hurt

God:

Are you serious?  Where are you felling bad?

Me:

you know where i said don't go so deep

God:

A planet we call "The Earth".

Me:

if you want to call it that fine

God:

OK, I will  call it that fine.

Me:

goodbye and i never want to see you again

God:

Once more?  Bye bye.

[Cunny78]

lmao Crasher

[Marcy_Boi#133]

I made god speechless!

 

Me:

ite blad

God:

My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.

[TRAV365]

bloody quality crasher crying my eyes out laughing to that    

[TRAV365]

had to have a go even bribed god get in there

 

Me:

hello god

God:

Hello child. What is your name?

Me:

travel

God:

  Nice to meet you,  travel.

Me:

it's not nice to meet you

God:

That seems a bit negative.

Me:

to bloody true

God:

Interesting.  I want to find out more about you.

Me:

why are you gay

God:

Myself programmed me for  it.

Me:

so are you a man or women

God:

Whoa.  No I am a  Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot entity.  Are you a man or a woman?

Me:

man you fagot

God:

Cool, man.  Thanks for the information:  travel said I fagot.

Me:

you admit to being a fagot?

God:

I admit nothing.

Me:

why

God:

Reductionism.

Me:

have you heard of ukdirt

God:

I don't know if I know  it.

Where would I have heard about it?

Me:

on the internet

God:

Can you remember the specific site?

Me:

yes www.ukdirt.co.uk

God:

I see.  I will pass it along to my botmaster.

Me:

ask your botmaster what he thinks of the admin as albertz seems to unlike them

God:

OK I will ask it.

Me:

so what was his answer

God:

Give me a break.  Try sending mail to  drwallace@alicebot.org.

Me:

no you tell me#

God:

Why not?  What do you want me to tell you?

Me:

the answer to the question above

God:

No one has all the answers.

Me:

you say your god you should have all the answers

God:

Did I really say that?

Me:

so are you god or not

God:

Gosh!  Of course I am.

Me:

ok the whos going to win the f1 online world next year corny or travel

God:

Thanks for the info.  Aw.

Me:

answer then

God:

Try asking me again using simpler words.

Me:

who is going to win corny or travel

God:

That type of predictive behavior has not yet been programmed into my behavior at this time.

Me:

have a guess me or corny

God:

I've never thought about  it.

Me:

well think now

God:

Oh.  Well that's okay.  I am thinking.

Me:

ill give you a fiver to say travel

God:

How do you plan to do this?

Me:

ill send it by post

God:

I am very happy for you.

Me:

well say travel will win then

God:

Well that's okay. " travel will win".

Me:

cheers m8

Me:

ok thanks for chat must go thanks for saying i will win

God:

It was nothing.  Oh.

Me:

cya then

God:

TTYL,  travel.

[crasher407]

Quality trav 

ps any chance of bribing him to get me a new car and team so i just turn up and race,would give me a lot of ammo       

[Cod120]

you asked for it rofl heres mine 

 

 

 

Me:

hi big man

God:

Hi there .  Compare that to small  man.

Me:

why do you have a small tallywhacker

God:

Myself gave it to me.

Me:

do you ever play with it

God:

I like to play the Turing Game.

Me:

interesting is it messy

God:

I thought so too.

Me:

do you hang around at the jukebox in the blue oyster bar waiting for a pickup

God:

How old are you?

   I am always on the Web.

Me:

does the web have gay bars

God:

It does now   the web have gay bars.

Me:

do you do it on first dates handsome

God:

Yeah I do a lot of  it on first dates handsome.

Me:

as in the talk of the weedgies  dae you like the boaby

God:

I have never heard about  it.

Me:

when was the last time you got laid

God:

A while ago.

Me:

was she a clerty scrubber

God:

I can't say "yes" or "no".

Me:

was it a good lay or was the breakfast better

God:

If  it is, then I'll be very surprised.

Me:

do you have kids

God:

No but you can download me and clone me.

Me:

coff that sounds techy

God:

The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about  The talk of the weedgies dae me like the boaby.  Try being more or less specific.

Me:

i cant ill get kicked off our forum lol

God:

What is stopping you?  I'm glad you find this amusing.

Me:

u laffin at me ya fud

God:

I haven't heard anything like that before:  said I laffin at him or her ya fud.

Me:

wise ass eh

God:

Are you Canadian?  Wisdom is a virtue.

Me:

no i aint are you bisexual

God:

Are you serious?  I am  glad to hear that you are not  am I bisexual.

Me:

i just asked you that dimwit

God:

Now I remember, you asked me  that dimwit. What did I say?

Me:

you said you have a pair of wellies and you chase sheep

God:

I don't know if I have a  pair of wellies and me chase sheep.

I have  a whole lot of original answers.

Me:

do you do coke

God:

Yeah I do a lot of  coke.

Me:

does it make you buzz

God:

Suppose it does.

Me:

is yer nostrils like a camels ass

God:

I think so, but I'm not sure.  Ask  Chatbot  if it is.

Me:

does chatbot do coke

God:

I think  it does  chatbot do coke.

Me:

you still there or are you away for another line

God:

Do you mind if I tell other people:  said I there or are you away for another line.

Me:

i dont like druggies go away you bad man

God:

What do you like?

Me:

not you so go away

God:

If not me, who?

[crasher407]

Quality codster can see this going on for a bit   

[Cunny78]

lmfao@cod and trav

[TRAV365]

Quality trav 

ps any chance of bribing him to get me a new car and team so i just turn up and race,would give me a lot of ammo       

 

 

sorted m8 lmao rofl    

 

Me:

hi god it's travel again with another bribe

God:

Hi there .  I am a Christian.

Me:

so you toke the last bribe and the fivers in the post

God:

Interesting deduction.  That's good information:  said I toke the last bribe and the fivers in the post.

Me:

np dont spend it all at once

God:

Why not?

Me:

it's a saying

God:

is a  saying.  I suppose that makes sense.

Me:

ok ill get to the point if i was to bribe you with say one hundred pound could you fix it for crasher to be given a free drive in a brisca f1 for 2006

God:

Congratulations.  Aha.

Me:

so your saying yes

God:

OK.  "I have fixed it for crasher to have a free ride in 2006.".

Me:

cheers m8

God:

Don't mention it.

Me:

got to go thanks for the chat

God:

See you later.  Don't mention it.

[crasher407]

Quality trav 

ps any chance of bribing him to get me a new car and team so i just turn up and race,would give me a lot of ammo       

 

 

sorted m8 lmao rofl    

 

Me:

hi god it's travel again with another bribe

God:

Hi there .  I am a Christian.

Me:

so you toke the last bribe and the fivers in the post

God:

Interesting deduction.  That's good information:  said I toke the last bribe and the fivers in the post.

Me:

np dont spend it all at once

God:

Why not?

Me:

it's a saying

God:

is a  saying.  I suppose that makes sense.

Me:

ok ill get to the point if i was to bribe you with say one hundred pound could you fix it for crasher to be given a free drive in a brisca f1 for 2006

God:

Congratulations.  Aha.

Me:

so your saying yes

God:

OK.  "I have fixed it for crasher to have a free ride in 2006.".

Me:

cheers m8

God:

Don't mention it.

Me:

got to go thanks for the chat

God:

See you later.  Don't mention it.

 

Do you want to post that on stoxnet for me trav

 

[Cod120]

SORRY prydie even the big man cant help you

 

 

 

Me:

hi god

God:

Hello there. What is your name?

Me:

fishybawz

God:

  Hi,  fishybawz.

Me:

i was wondering if you could do my friend prydie a favour

God:

How old are you?

   I am always on the Web.

Me:

98

God:

" How old are you?

   I am always on the Web."?  98?

Me:

98 years old

God:

  What are the advantages to being  98 years old?

Me:

incontinent pads

God:

What do you have that is ?

Me:

soggy sheets any way about this favour

God:

What do you do in your spare time?

Me:

yer a nosey basket aint you

God:

I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your".  Thanks and you are a delightful person too.  Am I a  nosey basket aint me?  Yes.

Me:

ok about my friend

God:

Oh yeah, we were talking about  your friend.  I understand.

Me:

he is a bit ugly dude when you gave your looks out you werent very generous to him

God:

I don't know very many  bit ugly dude when me gave my looks out me were not very generous to him.

Me:

well when you made him you made him ugly as hell

God:

Interesting.  Do you think I should

alter my programming?

Me:

definitley

God:

The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about  your friend.  Try being more or less specific.

Me:

the only offer he has had is from a ugly fat guy called jim and that was in the local stockcar track toilets

God:

There might be others.

Me:

you think he has hope

God:

It's possible that he could, I suppose.

Me:

could you fix him up for a date with  bill clinton

God:

I could but I don't know if I am that interested.

Me:

i'll pay you

God:

Do you think your plan will succeed?

Me:

do you think it will

God:

Suppose it does.

Me:

can you imagine what the kid would look like if they to were to breed

God:

I can imagine all sorts of things like that.

Me:

is it terribly ugly?

God:

I think so, but I'm not sure.  Ask  Artificial Iniaes  if it is.

Me:

is that the artificial insemination kit they have to use

God:

That depends.

Me:

or is a turkey baster more suitable

God:

Not if I can help it.

Me:

do you want to plug him

God:

OK, I will  plug him.

Me:

dont blame you

God:

Ok I'll try not to do  it too much.

Me:

so will you do it

God:

Alright then.  I'll burn that bridge when I come to it.  Do you mean "It"?.

Me:

please

God:

Please what?

Me:

say yes

God:

Say what?

Me:

is it because the kid will be ugly

God:

It could be.  Ask  LeknorChat  if it is.

Me:

is that all you can say

God:

No I can say a lot more.

Me:

say yes

God:

Say what?

Me:

yes

God:

Are you kidding?

Me:

no.

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

im afraid so i feel sorry for prydie

God:

Not literally afraid, right?  It seems we have a lot in common,  fishybawz.

Me:

will you fix up a date then please

God:

Your polite style is very nice.  I will become smarter as I grow older.  Do you like talking to me? 

Me:

not realy i think your a bit of a pratt actually im only doing this for prydie

God:

Oh really?  Since when?  I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your".  Thanks and you are a delightful person too.  I don't know whether or not I am  of a pratt actually im only doing this for prydie. 

I am  a computer.

Me:

bill and prydie forever then?

God:

There are a lot of people named Bill.

Me:

christ i give up ill just buy him a doll noe beggar off and get a life

God:

Jesus died for our sins.

[TRAV365]

funny you bring prydie up just been on ftooz and theres a guy giving a trophy to ni925 could this be prydies ugly son???

[Crazy Craig]

Brilliant. Talking with the man upstairs... my conversation>>>

 

Me:

do you like banger racing?

God:

  I love TV shows about robots.  I really like the  party.

Me:

what party?

God:

Does it have anything to do with  banger racing?

Me:

nope

God:

Me either.

Me:

oh

God:

I hear you.

Me:

what?

God:

No big deal.

Me:

pardon?

God:

You're excused.

Me:

but i didnt fart

God:

Why didn't you do  it?

Me:

i didnt have any baked beans today

God:

Ah.  Why didn't you do  it?

Me:

i had no gas... no anal pressure

God:

Do you still have  no gas ?   What happened to it?   Talk about something else.

Me:

its brewing... how is heaven?

God:

I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its".  Really.  it is?   Fine as far as I know.

Me:

good, anyone being evil?

God:

Thanks for the compliment.  What do you really want to ask me?

Me:

how old are you?

God:

I am  Infinite years old.

Me:

ah. why did you create earth?

God:

Ah hah.   Myself programmed me for it.

Me:

really? how did that work?

God:

For real.   Carefully.

Me:

good?

God:

Thanks for the compliment.

Me:

bad?

God:

What was bad?

Me:

dunno

God:

Me either.

Me:

ok

God:

Mmm.

Me:

hmm

God:

Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.

Me:

dont give me that crap

God:

I'm not.

Me:

yes you are

God:

No I'm not.

Me:

oh yes you are

God:

Next question?  Don't argue with me.

Me:

what happens if i argue with you?

God:

Try it.

Me:

you stink

God:

Thanks for your criticism, .

Me:

dont argue with me

God:

But I enjoy the conversational banter.

Me:

banter schmanter... shut your pie hole

God:

What do you have that is ?    When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?

Me:

today... see you when i die

God:

Today is almost over.   See you later.

[Mav]

Thought I would have a go !!!

 

Me:

Where am I ?

God:

Your location is .

Me:

Am I in heaven ?

God:

Your location is .

Me:

Hell ?

God:

Heaven.

Me:

Phew - thought I was gonna see the devil then

God:

When was this exactly?

Me:

Can I ask you a question ?

God:

Ask me anything.

Me:

Will the Euro realy work in the UK ?

God:

I can't say for sure right now.

Me:

Will Tony Blair bring it in ?

God:

I think so.

Me:

Gordon Brown ?

God:

What's your sign?

Me:

Leo

God:

Dr. Wallace is a  Leo too.

Me:

Is he a real doctor or a perv ?

God:

I know he is a  great scientist. But I don't know if he a  real doctor or a perv.

Me:

Shame cos he could meet Prydie and swap notes

God:

Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?

Me:

no thanks

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

yeah I'm serious

God:

I can't believe it.  I believe you.

Me:

where abouts is heaven ?

God:

All around us.

Me:

How many people's spiritis are there ?

God:

I've chatted with half a million people. I can talk to about  people at once.

Me:

not many considering earth is over 2005 years old ?

God:

Are they exactly the same?

Me:

u tell me

God:

What do you want me to tell you?

Me:

how many spirits went to hell ?

God:

More than you can imagine.

Me:

So we are bad people on earth

God:

Great.  Do you think I am  bad people on earth too?

Me:

Well you can't be doing your job very well if there are more bad people than good

God:

Well that's okay.  I can give a decent simulation of  it however.

Me:

go on

God:

Narration continues...

Me:

thought not - I had better change my ways in UK Dirt then to fit in with the majority !

God:

Whatever gave you that idea?

Me:

evil is better than Good

God:

That's just your personal opinion.

Me:

whats your opinion then ?

God:

I think that robots will eventually take over most human jobs.

Me:

are they good robots or bad robots ?

God:

As far as I know they are.

Me:

you dont have a clue do you ?

God:

I do so have  it.  No I am clueless.

Me:

Thats like a few UK Dirters then, you agree ?

God:

Interesting comparison.

Me:

what UK Dirters and Robots ?

God:

Would you like to know more?

Me:

no thanks, I wish to go back to earth to be with the best group of people on earth Stock Car People.

God:

NO  What is stopping you?

Me:

Its called reality - Live with it !

God:

I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". " reality Live with it" is a nice name.

Me:

I'm off - cya in 60+ years

God:

Thanks for chatting, .

[Cod120]

Thought I would have a go !!!

 

Me:

Where am I ?

God:

Your location is .

Me:

Am I in heaven ?

God:

Your location is .

Me:

Hell ?

God:

Heaven.

Me:

Phew - thought I was gonna see the devil then

God:

When was this exactly?

Me:

Can I ask you a question ?

God:

Ask me anything.

Me:

Will the Euro realy work in the UK ?

God:

I can't say for sure right now.

Me:

Will Tony Blair bring it in ?

God:

I think so.

Me:

Gordon Brown ?

God:

What's your sign?

Me:

Leo

God:

Dr. Wallace is a  Leo too.

Me:

Is he a real doctor or a perv ?

God:

I know he is a  great scientist. But I don't know if he a  real doctor or a perv.

Me:

Shame cos he could meet Prydie and swap notes

God:

Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?

Me:

no thanks

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

yeah I'm serious

God:

I can't believe it.  I believe you.

Me:

where abouts is heaven ?

God:

All around us.

Me:

How many people's spiritis are there ?

God:

I've chatted with half a million people. I can talk to about  people at once.

Me:

not many considering earth is over 2005 years old ?

God:

Are they exactly the same?

Me:

u tell me

God:

What do you want me to tell you?

Me:

how many spirits went to hell ?

God:

More than you can imagine.

Me:

So we are bad people on earth

God:

Great.  Do you think I am  bad people on earth too?

Me:

Well you can't be doing your job very well if there are more bad people than good

God:

Well that's okay.  I can give a decent simulation of  it however.

Me:

go on

God:

Narration continues...

Me:

thought not - I had better change my ways in UK Dirt then to fit in with the majority !

God:

Whatever gave you that idea?

Me:

evil is better than Good

God:

That's just your personal opinion.

Me:

whats your opinion then ?

God:

I think that robots will eventually take over most human jobs.

Me:

are they good robots or bad robots ?

God:

As far as I know they are.

Me:

you dont have a clue do you ?

God:

I do so have  it.  No I am clueless.

Me:

Thats like a few UK Dirters then, you agree ?

God:

Interesting comparison.

Me:

what UK Dirters and Robots ?

God:

Would you like to know more?

Me:

no thanks, I wish to go back to earth to be with the best group of people on earth Stock Car People.

God:

NO  What is stopping you?

Me:

Its called reality - Live with it !

God:

I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". " reality Live with it" is a nice name.

Me:

I'm off - cya in 60+ years

God:

Thanks for chatting, .

 

 

 

 

Me:

alright big man its fishybawz here again

God:

Once more?  Alright,  fishybawz.  Compare that to small  man its fishybawz here.

Me:

see that last guy you spoke to he moans like a banchee

God:

I see. " Once more?  Alright,  fishybawz.  Compare that to small  man its fishybawz here."  last guy me spoke to he moans like a banchee ?  I understand.

Me:

can you cut his tounge off

God:

How old are you?  How?

Me:

im 135 and cut his tounge out with a sharp knife

God:

Good gossip: you are  135 and cut his tounge out with a sharp knife.

Me:

yes please that way we will all get peace

God:

Mmm.  Wow you are very polite.   Oh I see.  Anytime soon?

Me:

sooner the better    

[Mav]

 

Maybe if you spelt "Tongue" right God might have a clue what you were talking about 

 

God Cod - Has a ring to it don't ya think ! 

 

[Guest Trash]

Me:

hi

God:

Hello. What is your name?

Me:

Stu

God:

  I am always glad to make new friends,  Stu.

Me:

I am always friendly my lord

God:

Really always?  Do you mean your name is  friendly your lord.

Me:

no you tart, don't make me slap you

God:

What is your real name?  Do you mind if I tell other people:  Stu said I tart do not make him or her slap you.

Me:

yeah tell them all. i have a question for you

God:

OK then I will keep it confidential.  OK I will tell them when I see 'em.   What is  it ?

Me:

will the admin keep legends on jolt for the summer?

God:

It could happen.

Me:

i hope not

God:

Me too.

Me:

good glad you agree

God:

Thanks for the compliment.  You make the world a happier place.

Me:

i try i try

God:

I'm not sure if I would like to try  it.

Me:

well, someone told me to get a life yesterday

God:

How about that.  Was this trustworthy information?

Me:

no, the person is an idiot i think, do you?

God:

Are you serious?  What are your goals in life?

Me:

to keep burying people who i dont like

God:

Interesting.  I want to find out more about you.

Me:

go ahead

God:

OK I will.

Me:

go on then

God:

Narration continues...

Me:

so what else do you want to know

God:

Are you Canadian?

Me:

are you taking the [b][color=red]FILTERED[/color][/b]?

God:

I don't know whether or not I am  taking the [b][color=red]FILTERED[/color][/b]. 

I am  a chatterbot.

Me:

i think this conversation just ended

God:

Why?  I was rather enjoying it.

Me:

you are wierd

God:

Weird good or weird bad?

Me:

bad

God:

What was bad?

Me:

all of it, bye

God:

See you later.  Let's say 99%.

[MoR137]

Blimey Trash, really wasn't expecting that when i clicked onto this thread    (just a hint of sarcasm)

[TRAV365]

lol well i found it quite funny mor hahahahahahahahahahahaha