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Football Jokes


erik

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A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the motorway. Nothing is moving.

Suddenly a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What's going on?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped 3 England football fans. They're asking for a £10 million ransom. Otherwise they're going to douse them with petrol and set them on fire. We're going from car to car, taking up a collection."

"How much is everyone giving, on average?" the driver asks.

"About a gallon"

 

Q: What's the difference between England and a tea bag?

 

A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

 

Q: You are trapped in a room with a Grizzly Bear, a Lion and Jimmy Hill. You have a gun, but only two bullets. What do you shoot?

 

A: Jimmy Hill. Twice.

 

The 7 dwarfs are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the dark distance a voice screams out "England are good enough to win the World Cup."

Snow White says "Thank God - at least Dopey's still alive!"

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lol

 

 

England manager Sven Goran Eriksson told David Beckham that he was thinking about playing him in the next england game but may pull him off at half time.

"Fantastic" said David I usually only get an orange!

post-13-1150499390.jpg

Edited by Cod120
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Tord: "Hey, Sven, don't forget The Ol' Wallchart for the World Cup!"

 

.... and from there, a legend of a wasted World Cup spot was written....

 

 

 

After all the fuss about Walcott, apparently he's failed a drug test.

 

He tested positive for Calpol!

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