Cod120 Posted February 19, 2008 Report Share Posted February 19, 2008 TESCO DOCTOR. > > One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Jack says to > Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose > I'd better see a doctor!" > > "Listen mate; don't waste your time down at the > surgery", Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer > at Tesco. Just give it a urine sample and the computer > will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it. > It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid....a > lot quicker and better than a doctor and you get > Clubcard points". > So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and > takes it to Tesco. He deposits five pounds and the > computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He > pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds > later, > The computer ejects a printout: > > You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water > and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two > weeks'. > > That evening while thinking how amazing this new > technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer > could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool > sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and > daughter, and `Pleasured himself' into the mixture for > good measure. > > Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would > happen. He deposits five pounds, pours in his > concoction, and awaits the results with a grin. > > > > The computer prints the following: > > 1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. > > 2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal > shampoo. > > 3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into > rehab. > > 4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours.Get > a lawyer. > > 5) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your > elbow will never get better.... > > Thank you for shopping at Tesco Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mini683 Posted February 19, 2008 Report Share Posted February 19, 2008 gd one hehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lee Posted February 19, 2008 Report Share Posted February 19, 2008 nice find Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martwisely Posted February 19, 2008 Report Share Posted February 19, 2008 (edited) nice find That explains the new machine Outside the toilet area at work then Edited February 19, 2008 by martwisely Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted February 19, 2008 Report Share Posted February 19, 2008 Good to see tesco getting the mick ripped out of them. since i hate shopping there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamie c Posted March 3, 2008 Report Share Posted March 3, 2008 hahaha lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The London Allstar Posted March 3, 2008 Report Share Posted March 3, 2008 Good to see tesco getting the mick ripped out of them. since i hate shopping there I hate working thier Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prydie#9 Posted March 3, 2008 Report Share Posted March 3, 2008 lol cod average age who found that funny is 19.1 looooooooooooooooool u like small boys in shorts?? prydie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts