Insane Mike Posted July 24, 2005 Report Share Posted July 24, 2005 Strangely it was entitled rules and regulationson the forum I took it from. 1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed. 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink. 4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button. 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough. 7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the tooth ache. AND..... Sometimes we just need to remember what the Rules of Life really are You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance! And finally... Be really good to your family and friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bruce201 Posted July 24, 2005 Report Share Posted July 24, 2005 psml good one for the mrs try it later lol bruce201 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamesy Posted July 24, 2005 Report Share Posted July 24, 2005 thats funny as hell m8 nice 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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