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Posted (edited)

In the early hours of Monday Morning a major earthquake hit Dundee, measuring 5.8 on the Richter Scale.

 

Epicentre: Whitfield

 

Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering, ‘Whit the f***?!’, and ‘Whuard that cum fae?!’. The earthquake totally decimated the surrounding area with damage said to be in the region of £30. Several priceless mementoes from the baldovie skip were damaged beyond all repair.

 

Three areas of historical burnt out cars were disturbed. Many o the locals were woken well before their giro arrived. Grampian news reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and are still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in the area.

 

One resident, Tracy Sharon Smith, a 17 year old mother of five fae Ormiston Crescent said, ‘It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay Levi-Mercedes came running through to my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Chantelle slept through it all, as well as ma great granny Lorraine. I was still shaking when I was watching Kilroy the next morning.’

 

Police were quick to assure residents that looting, mugging and car theft will all carry on as normal. The British Red Cross has so far managed to fly in almost 4000 crates of Sunny Delight to help the stricken residents. Rescue workers have already begun to sift through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos, loads and loads of Provie Cheques and bone china from Poundstretcher.

 

How can you help?

 

This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing, for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after, the most needed include Fila and Burberry baseball caps, Kappa Tracksuit tops (His and Hers), Shell suits (female), white sport socks and any items usually sold in Primark. Food parcels may be harder to come by, but they will be needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include microwave meals, tins of baked beans, ice cream and cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew.

 

22p buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9; £5 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to help calm the nerves of those affected.

 

Please do not send tents for shelter! As the sight of posh housing is unfair on the population and will only cause envy in the Douglas, Fintry and St Marys

 

 

 

Martin :thumbup:

 

ps for those of you that Dont know where Dundee is it is in Scotland and is about roughly an hour from Cowdenbeath. Also you have to be good at reading your scottish to understand it lol.

Edited by martwisely
Posted

Oi, thats a from a song they made about a place in Plymouth called swilly, its jsut a rip of version, downlaod it from lime wire etc, it called the swilly song, :banghead2:

Posted

Oi, thats a from a song they made about a place in Plymouth called swilly, its jsut a rip of version, downlaod it from lime wire etc, it called the swilly song, :banghead2:

 

 

cant seem to find it sash.

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