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A Jelly Baby walks into a bar and starts talking to a smartie. After a few

beers the Smartie says "Ere, a bunch of us are heading to that new club,

fancy tagging along?" The Jelly Baby says "No mate, I'm a soft centre, I

always end up getting my head kicked in. " So?", Smartie says. "Don't worry

about it, I'm a bit of a hard case, I'll look after you." Jelly Baby thinks

about it for a minute and says "Fair enough, as long as you'll look after

me", and off they go. After a few more beers in the club, three Lockets walk

in. As soon as he sees them, Smartie hides under the table. The Lockets take

one look at jelly Baby and start kicking him, breaking cola bottles over his

little jelly head, lamping him with little sugary chairs, and generally

having a laugh. After a while they get bored and walk out. Jelly Baby pulls

his battered Jelly Baby body over to the table and wipes up his Jelly Baby

blood. He turns to Smartie and says "I thought you were going to look after

me?" "I was!" says Smartie, "But those Lockets are f**king menthol".

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